The Single Mom gig is not for the faint of heart. Even for those in an ideal co-parenting situation you are at least half of the full time 100+ hours a week job of being a parent. When you’re a Single Mom you’re also solely responsible for being the cleaning lady, the short order cook, the maker of the lunches that probably won’t get eaten, the laundress, the banker, the handyman, the drill sergeant, the tutor, the dog walker, the uber driver, the coach, the night nanny, and the all important giver of hugs. Then there’s your day job, running a house on your own, managing a relationship with an ex, extended family needs, a social life you probably aren’t getting to, and all the other parts of life that fall under adulting. Oh and as everyone you talk to will tell you ‘it’s really important you take some time for yourself’. Thanks. I’ll slot that in right after ‘my schedule can’t fit all this’.
Every once in a while it seems like more than a person can handle to just keep your head above water. Finances for most single Moms are incredibly tight – you are either living on support payments or possibly making support payments which in either case means you need to stretch your dollar further than ever before. Being completely present for your kids means you need to drop everything (so forget about getting to the to do list that’s been sitting on your kitchen table all week) and really pay attention to the kids when you have them. Healthy meals need to be made and eaten three times a day which is on you Single Mom. Love needs to be doled out, homework needs to get done, and bedtimes need to be respected.
It’s a lot. Makes it hard to breathe some days.
I read somewhere once that when life gets really hard you’ve levelled up. Or when things get really difficult life is handing you an invitation to level up. The way I see it there are two ways to go about this. Curl up and hide or look this beast in the eye and make it your ………… well, be very much in charge of it. Curling up and hiding really does sound appealing for a moment doesn’t it? But the reality is all those things we need to deal with would find us anyway. When life gives you lemons Single Mom, you take that lemon, turn it into a pie to sell to the neighbours so you can pay for your kids sports.
What is it that we need to get in order so we can get to the thing we want so badly – to enjoy our time with our kids? Well, first things first, finances need to be dealt with and a budget needs to be set. The house needs to get cleaned and become a home that we enjoy and are happy to raise our kids in. The constant task of keeping scheduling for the kids with an ex needs to be put under control. Looking and feeling your best are the only way you can tackle any monumental task in life which means fashion, fitness, and nutrition need to be a priority. Meals need to be shopped for, planned, and even possibly cooked in advance. And all those people telling you to take care of yourself – they’re right. The value of self care and getting proper rest cannot be underestimated in this journey.
My decision here is to take the Single Mom Level Up Challenge and get these things in order. We live in a world full of technical resources to help us master our time and our tasks. I’m excited to take this time pressed life and put things in their place. The energy you put out to the world is the energy you are going to get back. Instead of nights snacking on the couch watching Netflix it’s time to put some plans into action. Time to put this Single Mom thing on a leash and walk it around town.
Over the coming months I hope you join me on this journey to health, wealth, joy, and carving out a life designed with purpose. I look forward to sharing this with you!!